Racin' & Internet Stuff:

                                      By Tom Avenengo

                                           Volume # 28




In most places, SCHOOL IS NOW OPEN!  That means that kids will be running around, not thinking, and who knows when they’ll dart out onto a street – especially around school busses.  Be careful, please!




At most tracks in the area, point racing ends on the Labor Day Holiday weekend.  Let’s all hope that Hurricane Earl doesn’t screw up this coming weekend!  I’d hate to see championships end due to weather.



Some of my thoughts:


I really had quite a few miles put on the old 98 Toyota over these past couple of weeks.  There was the trip to Accord a couple of weeks ago, then a trip to JFK Airport when my son used it to pick up his son and his son’s girlfriend.  A trip up to Lebanon Valley for their Thursday night race, followed by a trip to the Westchester County airport to pick up our daughter and great grandson, on Friday.  OCFS on Saturday, a reprieve on Sunday, then another trip to Westchester County Airport to take our daughter back, so she could fly back to Cape Coral, FL.  On top of that was the usual daily running around.


At Lebanon Valley, they had one of the better races that I’ve seen, for that place.  Hot dogs were so-so.  French fries were good.  Pizza must have been good, too, since they were out fairly early.  Personally, I’m not one to rave about Valley food.  Good car counts in the Modifieds and Budget Sportsman.  It was nice to see them let all 37 Sportsman start the feature.  Something other tracks should consider doing the same, on occasion.    At OC a week ago, they started 9 in the Big Block consi, said they’d take six, then changed that to eight.  Why not nine?


At OCFS on Saturday – no idea as to what happened to the track.  I talked four others into going, and the racing wasn’t all that good.  Passing was at a premium, for sure.  Might the rain earlier in the week have something to do with the “freight train” type of racing?  No dust, which is good.  Someone had posted that the soft ice cream stand wasn’t open.  True?  There’s been no pizza all season long, either.  Any idea if all the photos are still under the main grandstand where the Funnel cakes and good French Fries were?


I’ve seen the WoO Sprint Cars at OC.  It has gotten to be like Syracuse for the WoO – wide open around the whole track.  So now I’m a little puzzled.  If the WoO Sprint Cars can run OCFS wide open and average darn near 140 MPH, why can’t the CRSA, who’s top time and speed last Saturday night was 19.692 and 114.260 MPH run wide open – why must they let off at the end of the front stretch, going into turn one?  I believe they have about the same sized wing as the WoO.  That puzzles me.




Going back, in time:

Note:  Most of the following information was found here: 



Covering the days of August 27th to September 2nd..




Johnny Ritter was born in Austria.  He is one of only a few drivers that ran the ARDC Midget circuit that wasn’t born in the US.  Henry Banks, ARDC’s second champion, was born in England.  Bert Brooks was born in Canada.


Joie Chitwood , driving the Nyquist #8, won the AAA Eastern Sprint Car race at the Williams Grove Speedway in Mechanicsburg, PA.


Tony Bettenhausen won the 100 lap USAC Midget race at the Milwaukee Mile (1.0p) , West Allis, WI.

Note:  When is the last time there was a 100-mile midget race?


Jim Hurtubise won both of the Twin 50's USAC Sprint Car races at the Langhorne Speedway (1.0d) , Langhorne, PA.

Note:  When was the last time there was a 50-mile Sprint car race?  Oh, and no pit stops, either!




Jimmy Daywalt ... Born ... Jimmy drove AAA sprint cars and in the AAA and USAC Championship Car series, racing in the 1950, 1953-1957, 1959, and 1961-1962 seasons with 20 starts. He finished in the top ten 3 times. His best finish was in the 1953 Indianapolis 500, where he finished 6th and was named Rookie of the Year.


Art Malone drove the 'Mad Dog IV' to a world record speed of 181.561 mph at Daytona International Speedway. Bill France had posted an award of $10,000 to anyone who could post a speed in excess of 180 mph on a closed course speedway. Bob Osiecki of Charlotte, NC took up the challenge. Osiecki installed a super charger Dodge 413 cubic-inch engine in an Indy roadster. Then he designed and installed a vertical stabilizer and a pair of inverted air foils, or upside down wings, to the chassis to aerodynamically stabilize the vehicle at speed.




Roger McCluskey... Died ... McCluskey was one of the most successful drivers in USAC history. McCluskey won the USAC sprint-car championship in 1963 and 1966 and won the USAC stock-car crown in 1969 and 1970. A fifth USAC title came in the Champ Car (Indy car) division in 1972. McCluskey owns 23 victories in both the USAC sprint-car and stock-car divisions, and his five Indy car and four midget triumphs give him 55-all time USAC victories. McCluskey made 18 Indy 500 starts with a best finish of third. He is a member of the National Sprint Car Hall of Fame and the Indianapolis Motor Speedway Hall of Fame. Roger McCluskey lost his battle with cancer just five days before his 63rd birthday on Aug. 29, 1993.



Bruce McLaren ... Born ... He was a race-car designer, driver, engineer and inventor. His name lives on in Team McLaren which has been one of the most successful in Formula One championship history, with McLaren cars and drivers winning a total of 19 world championships. McLaren cars totally dominated CanAm sports car racing with 56 wins, a considerable number of them with him behind the wheel, between 1967 and 1972 (and five constructors’ championships), and have won three Indianapolis 500 races, as well as 24 Hours of Le Mans and 12 Hours of Sebring.


Ed Elisian ... Died ... Ed was an American racing driver, mainly competing in the National Championship. He died in a crash at the Milwaukee Mile. n the 1955 Indianapolis 500, he stopped his car in a futile attempt to help Bill Vukovich when Vukovich's car crashed and burned during the race. He is the only driver in Indy 500 history to stop a non-damaged car to help another driver. He received a sportsmanship award for his efforts, as well as the wrath of the car owner. In the 1958 Indianapolis 500, Dick Rathmann and Elisian started the race on the front row, with Jimmy Reece on the outside of the front row. Elisian spun in turn 3 of the first lap, and collected Rathmann, sending them both into the wall, and starting a 15-car pileup. According to AJ Foyt, Pat O'Connor's car hit Reece's car, sailed fifty feet in the air, landed upside down, and burst into flames. Although medical officials said that O'Connor was probably killed instantly from a fractured skull, he was incinerated in the accident, in full view of fans and drivers. Widely blamed for the accident, Elisian was suspended by USAC for the accident (reinstated a few days later), and was shunned by the racing community. Rumors spread that Elisian tried to lead the first lap in order to pay gambling debts owed to a syndicate. In June, 1958, Elisian was involved in a multi-car sprint car crash at New Bremen Speedway in Saint Marys, Ohio, which claimed the life of Jim Davis. While absolved of blame in the incident, Elisian's unpopularity with drivers deepened. In August 1959, Elisian entered the USAC Indy car 200 mile race at the "Milwaukee Mile," known in those days as Wisconsin State Fair Park. Driving a metallic green Watson-style roadster owned by Ernie Ruiz, he crashed on lap 29 when he spun in oil from AJ Foyt's engine. The car hit the wall, rupturing the fuel cell, and rolled over. Some sixty gallons of fuel caught fire, and took over 9 minutes to extinguish. Allegedly, the other drivers failed to slow down in order to prevent fire fighters' effort to extinguish the flames, but the red flag was not displayed until the fire was well underway. Elisian burned to death in the flames.

Jiggs Peters won the 250 mile USAC/ARDC Midget race at the Trenton International Speedway, Trenton,NJ.

Note:  Yes, that’s right a 250-mile midget race.  Would you believe there have been midget races that were even longer in distance? Like 500 miles?




Van Johnson and Ralph Ligouri won the 50 Mile USAC sanctioned Sprint Car races on the 1-mile dirt oval at the Langhorne Speedway, Langhorne, PA.

Note:  Yep, a couple more 50 milers for Sprint cars.




George Robson... Died ... AAA driver 1938 to 1946. Had 3 Indy 500 starts with a win in 1946. Robson died with George Barringer in an accident at the Lakewood Speedway in Atlanta, Georgia.

George Barringer ... Died ... AAA driver from the 1930's and 40's. He ran the Indy 500 six times with a best finish of 6th in 1939. He and George Robson were killed in same multi-car pile-up at the Lakewood Speedway in Atlanta, Georgia.


Bert Brooks won the NASCAR Sprint Car race at the Morristown Speedway,Morristown, NJ.

Note:  If you recall, I made references to NASCAR Midget races and “Big Car” races in past columns, but I’m being honest here – this is the first time I’ve seen a winner listed for a NASCAR SPRINT CAR race.  Very interesting, to say the least!  And, through some questioning, I did get some responses that did say that, yes; NASCAR did sanction Sprint Car races.

Note:  Here is one of the responses I got back about NASCAR and them sanctioning Sprint Car races:

Yes, San Jose Speedway ran full fledged Sprint Cars under NASCAR sanction up until the end of the 1990s. Super Modifieds evolved into Sprint Cars over time. Many of the San Jose Cars also ran with the NARC and GSC (Golden State Challenge series. NASCAR in Daytona refused to call them Sprint Cars and instead still called them Super Modifieds. I was even told not to call them NASCAR Sprint Cars in my writings. You can read more about this in my book "History of San Jose Auto Racing 1903 - 2007."

Dennis Mattish
San Jose, CA”



Bert Brooks... Died ... Eastern midget and sprint car driver from the 1940's, 50's and 60's. He was the United Racing Club (URC) Sprint car champion in 1954, 1956, 1957 and 1958. He died in an ARDC midget race at the Hershey Stadium in Hershey, PA.





Track news – (for tracks in my area):

Accord:  http://www.accordspeedway.com/

This coming Friday:

B. Millen & Son Recycling & Orange County Fair Speedway Night

$2000 to win 30 Lap Modified Race - Eastern States 200 Qualifier

Plus Sportsman – Spec Sportsman - Pro Stocks – Pure Stocks-Lightning Sprints





OCFS:  http://www.orangecountyfairspeedway.net/

This coming Saturday:

September 4th  WLR Construction | Old Erie Restaurant - Labor Day Weekend - Championship Night - Kids Club – Powder Puff Race - M/SP/PRO/PS - End of Points





Bethel:  http://www.bethelmotorspeedway.com/BethelMotorSpeedway/Home_Page.html

This coming Saturday:

Dirt Sportsman, Pro Stock, BMS Modified, Street Stock, 4 Cylinder, Legends and Bandoleros




OVRP – the dirt track:  http://www.oaklandvalleyspeedway.com/

OVRP is closed this coming weekend.



And, a pretty big race has been scheduled for the Oakland Valley Speedway (the Dirt Oval) for Saturday, September 11th


50 Lap NASCAR Style Charity Event

Saturday September 11th

At least $3317 guaranteed to be awarded in prize money, donation’s to the winner’s favorite charity in their name and to the Cuddebackville Volunteer Fire Dept.

More info can be found if you go here:  http://www.oaklandvalleyspeedway.com/2010/08/salute-fallen-heros-september-11th/




Hamlin:  http://www.hamlinspeedway.com/

Labor Day Wingless 270cc Special! Regular Show Plus 270cc Wingless Race



The History of the Sport:

Something a little different this week – something about one particular car   an Indy car  named “Basement Bessie”.  Believe it or not, “Bessie” had a 15-year career.  Yes, I’ve seen her in action on quite a few occasions!  From what I’ve read, she is in the Museum at the Indianapolis Speedway.


I found quite an interesting article about the car some time back.  A few things of what were said have been copied and are pasted, below.


Paul Russo and Ray Nichels constructed this car in the basement of Russo's Hammond, Indiana home during the winter of 1949-1950.  Qualifying in the 7th row, the Russo-Nichels Special captured the imagination of the American racing public by running with the leaders for much of the day, before the rain-shortened race ended at 345 miles. The Russo-Nichels Special soon became affectionately known as "Basement Bessie" as it was campaigned on the AAA Championship Trail during the 1950 season. Ray Nichels and Paul Russo and their hand-built "basement" creation missed the chance to win the National Championship only after a season-ending injury to Russo in the November AAA Indy car race in Phoenix. Sam Hanks drove the car to second at Bay Meadows. The car collected wins at the Illinois State Fair at Springfield with Russo and with Johnnie Parsons at the first ever Indy car race at the newly built Darlington Raceway, SC in December and collected 1568 car owner points over the Lou Moore's driver's Henry Banks' 1498 points. So this car and the team of Russo-Nichels would have been the Car Owner's Champion in 1950.


“In 1952, Russo did not enter Bessie at the 500 and missed the show in Lutes Truck Parts Kurtis 4000 Dirt Offy.The car was sold to H. A. Chapman and was known as the Chapman Special at Milwaukee with his driver, one legged Midget star Bill Schindler driving Bessie to 3rd ,finishing behind winner Mike Nazaruk and Russo in the Lutes car in second after Bill started 18th out of 18 cars that started. There were 18 cars also missing the show including the previous race's winner, Troy Ruttman in the 500 winning car”


“In 1953 East Coast veteran Midget racer, Ernie McCoy put Bessie in her second 500 and the finished the "hottest 500" ever in 8th finishing all 500 miles at 123.404MPH.”


“Now for 1954 bring in another East Coast star, Johnny Thomson and Johnny put Bessie in the inside of row two at the Greatest Spectacle but had the steering freeze up on lap 165 and was credited with 24th place in the low attrition race.”


“Where is she? I do not know but very few cars have scored as many points as she did in 15 seasons or over 354 points average per season.”


More about this outstanding car, how it did, over the years, can be seen if you go to the link, below.  Also, there are comments made which can be read. 

They are at the bottom of the article.



Note:  If you’re reading this on the New England Tractor website, here is a Walt Imlay photo of “Basement Bessie” with Bill Schindler at the wheel.

If reading on DTD, then please go to this link, then to my column, to view the photo:  http://newenglandtractor.com/racereport/


Former Dirt Oval (Oakland Valley Speedway) runners:


Davie Franek was 4th in the 358 Sprint Car feature at Selinsgrove.

At Lebanon Vally, last Thursday, Michael Storms was 4th in the Modifed 100 lapper while Bobby Hackel, IV, won the Budget Sportsman feature.

Tiffany Wambold was 2nd in the Rookie 270 Micro feature at Borgers.

At Utica/Rome, AJ Filbeck was 7th in the Sportsman feature.

At Lebanon Valley, on Saturday, Kyle Armstrong was 2nd and Kolby Schroder 3rd in the Sportsman feature.

Michael Storms was 8th in the Modified feature at Brewerton.

At New Egypt, Johnny Guarino was 2nd in the Modified feature.

Roger Coss had a 7th and a 6th in the Modified features at Wall Stadium.

At Fulton, Michael Storms was 14th in the Modified feature.

Rich Coons was 2nd in the Sportsman feature at Bethel.

At Wyalusing, Jacob Hendershot finished 2nd in the 270 Micro Sprint feature.

BK Rizzo was 12th in the 270 Micro Sprint feature and Cori Tufano 3rd in the 750 Sportsman Micro Sprint feature at Whip City.

At Stafford, David Webb had a 6th place finish in the SK Light Modified feature.

The CRSA 305 Sprint Cars were at OCFS and Josh Pieniazek was 4th, Billy VanInwegen 9th, Chuck Alessi 10th and Brittany Tresch 16th.

Also, at OCFS, in the Modified feature, Billy was 3rd, Mike Ruggiero 17th, Tim Hindley 24th , while Corey Ziegler (358 Small block) and Clinton Mills were DNQ’s.

In the Sportsman feature, Zack Vavricka was 6th, Brian Krummel 8th, Joe Conklin 11th, Keith Still 13th, Matt Janiak 14th, Anthony Perrego 15th, Jason Roe 17th, Matt Hitchcock 20th and Doc Young 22nd.

At Accord, in the Spec Sportsman feature, Kyle Rohner was 9th.

In the Sportsman feature, Mike Ruggiero was 2nd, Brian Krummel 5th, Brad Szulewski 13th and Anthony Perrego 20th.

In the Modified feature, Danny Creeden was 4th, Clinton Mills 16th, Jamie Yannone 23rd, Jimmy Johnson 24th, while Greg Hastie was a DNQ.

Kenney Johnson was 7th in the Tobias SpeedSTR feature at Lincoln.

Charlie Lawrence was 15th and 14th in the two Slingshot features at Hamlin.  Rick Casario was 20th in the 270 Micro Sprint feature.  Luke Schostkewitz was 15th in the first Wingless 600 Micro Sprint feature, and was the winner in the second feature.  Wyatt Clark had a 10th place finish n the Rookie 270 Micros, and Joe Kata was 4th in the Rookie 600’s.


Hope I didn’t miss anyone!




More racin’ stuff:

From last week:

Coming up:

Just a reminder about the Racing Expo show coming up at Hnchliffe Stadium in Paterson, NJ on Sunday, September 5th.


There was some information about this show and photos from “Back in the day” sent out via Facebook a few weeks ago.  Here’s a link to that:




Information about the Expo is in one of the first photos.  I see there has been a change or two.


Directions to Hinchliffe Stadium – with thanks to Ronny Dennis:


Directions from Rt.80:

  Coming from George Washington Bridge, Garden State Parkway, New Jersey Turnpike :
   Take Rt. 80 West to exit 55B Union Blvd./Totowa

   go 2 and 4/10 miles on Union Blvd. (becomes Union Ave.)
   to Redwood Ave. (there is an Autozone on left) make a RIGHT onto
   Redwood Ave. (you will see the stadium in front of you) go
   1/10 of a mile to Totowa Ave., make a RIGHT onto Totowa Ave.,
   go 1/10 of a mile to Maple Ave. make a LEFT onto Maple Ave.
   Hinchliffe Stadium will be on your left.

  Coming from Delaware Water Gap area:
   Take Rt. 80 East to Exit 54 Minnisink Rd./Little Falls/Totowa
   Make a LEFT towards Totowa, go 7/10 of a mile to Totowa Rd.
   Make a RIGHT onto Totowa Rd., go 3/10 of a mile to Union Blvd.
   make a LEFT onto Union Blvd., go approximately 1 mile to Redwood Ave.
   (there is an Autozone on left) make a RIGHT onto Redwood Ave.
   (you will see the stadium in front of you) go 1/10 of a mile to Totowa
   Ave. make a RIGHT onto Totowa Ave., go 1/10 of a mile to Maple Ave.
   Make a LEFT onto Maple Ave. Hinchliffe Stadium will be on the left




Other forums/message boards and websites:


You might find some interesting reading if you go to the links below.


Track Forum: - http://www.trackforum.com/forums/


Frontstretch.com:  http://www.frontstretch.com/

Jayski: - http://www.jayski.com/

Open Wheel Racers3:  http://www.openwheelracers3.com/

Race Pro Weekly:  http://raceproweekly.com/

Racing on TV - http://www.racefantv.com/USTV.htm




Video time:

I figured that since it’s been so darn hot, maybe a little “Winter” video might be appropriate.  I, most definitely, would not want to be the photographer that’s in this video at the 2 minute and 54 second mark!  Enjoy!




Other (non racing) news:


Arizona vs. the U.N. human rights police


In parts:

An indignant President Obama complained last week, “I can’t spend all of my time with my birth certificate plastered on my forehead.” Fine. How about plastering a copy of his presidential oath of office there instead? The kowtowing commander-in-chief is in dire need of a daily reminder that his job is to “preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States” — not international law or global diktats.”

“The report also includes a section on “values and immigration,” which essentially singles out Arizona’s immigration enforcement law as a human rights deficiency “that is being addressed in a court action.”

“In response, Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer rightly blasted Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and the Obama administration for succumbing to “internationalism run amok.” Brewer pointed out in a letter to Clinton, “Human rights as guaranteed by the United States and Arizona Constitutions are expressly protected in S.B. 1070 and defended vigorously by my Administration. In fact, the Department of Justice has correctly not included these so-called ‘human rights’ issues in the current litigation against the State of Arizona.” Somehow, that inconvenient detail escaped the Foggy Bottom bureaucrats’ notice.”

More on the above can be seen if you go here:




Report: US wasted billions in Iraq rebuilding


In part:

A $40 million prison sits in the desert north of Baghdad, empty. A $165 million children's hospital goes unused in the south. A $100 million waste water treatment system in Fallujah has cost three times more than projected, yet sewage still runs through the streets


More than $5 billion in American taxpayer funds has been wasted


More can be seen if you go here:  http://www.americablog.com/2010/08/report-us-wasted-billions-in-iraq.html


Note:  Scroll down a little and read some of the comments!




BP acknowledges oil washing ashore in Florida


In part:

For days, as thousands of pounds of oil washed up on the Florida coast, BP officials stuck to an "Oil? What oil?" stance. Despite howling by local officials, fishermen and laid-off cleanup workers, BP officials denied all knowledge of the existence of oil in the area.




You might want to check the comments below the article.



Is this true?:

Kinda long – from another e-mail I received just the other day:


 Subject: Fw: Dhimmitude???



Did you know this was in the health care bill?  I didn't.  This word is not in my RANDON HOUSE COLLEGE DICTIONARY.  So therefore Google for information....Interesting....


Word of the Day: Dhimmitude

*Has anyone heard of this word? Dhimmitude? * 
*Unbelievable * 
*I had my doubts so I checked with Snopes. There is an exemption for "certain religious groups" in the Health Care Bill. Obama supporters especially, check it out for yourselves. * 
*Never heard the word before?---Try typing it into Google and start reading. Pretty interesting. 

*It seems that Muslims and certain other religions are exempt from the ObamaCare penalties, and their exemptions are _supported by law_. We are surrendering from within! The prez is leading us right down the path to total Muslim control and most of us don't give a rat's patootie! Maybe we voted for him in good faith, but now yet another "truth" comes out. Perhaps we should rethink what we have done. * 
*Dhimmitude is the Muslim system of controlling non-Muslim populations conquered through jihad. Specifically, it is the TAXING of non-Muslims in exchange for _tolerating their presence_ AND as a coercive means of converting conquered remnants to Islam. 
*The ObamaCare bill is the first step in the establishment of Dhimmitude and Sharia Muslim diktat in the United States Muslims may be not only specifically exempted from the government mandate to purchase health insurance, but exempted also from the penalty tax for being uninsured. Seems that Islam considers insurance to be "gambling", "risk-taking" and "usury" and thus is to be banned. Muslims may be specifically granted an exemption based on this. 

*How convenient. So John and Jane Smith, as Christians, Jews, Buddhists or whatever, may have crippling IRS liens placed against all of our assets, including real estate, cattle, cars, etc., and even accounts receivables, and could also face hard prison time if we refuse to buy health insurance or pay the penalty tax. Meanwhile, Louis Farrakhan will have no such penalty and will have 100% of his health needs paid for by the de facto government insurance at our expense. Non-Muslims will be paying a tax to subsidize Muslims. Period. This is Dhimmitude. * 
*Dhimmitude serves two purposes: it enriches the Muslim masters AND over the long haul serves to drive conversions to Islam. In this case, the incentive to convert to Islam will be taken up by those minorities in the inner-cities as well as the godless Generation X, Y and Z types who have no moral anchor or belief in God! If you don't believe in Christ to begin with, it is no problem whatsoever to again sell Him for 30 pieces of silver. "Sure, I'll be a Muslim if it means free health insurance and no taxes. Where do I sign, brother?" 

*I recommend sending this email to all of your contacts who may actually give a damn about where there this country is heading. This is desperately important and people need to know about it and what the past election has done to all of us! 
P.S. Have you heard about the summit Obama is holding this month in DC for the future Muslim business leaders in the US ? He wants to increase the ability to begin business opportunities in the US for the Muslim community! Better start looking for a country that doesn't cater to the Muslims such as Australia, because this country will be overrun by Muslims like Europe is currently experiencing. And you thought our problem was the Mexicans!......



Closing with these:

Things to do when on an elevator:

Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut UP!"

Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

Sell Girl Scout cookies.

On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.


Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

When at your floor, strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"

Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

One word: Flatulence!

Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"

Meow occasionally.

Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

Frown and mutter "Gotta go...Gotta go..." then sigh and say "Oops!"

Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.

Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

Walk on with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.

Stare at a  passenger and announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

Burp, and then say "Mmmm... tasty!"

Leave a box between the doors.

Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

Start a sing-along.

When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"

Play the harmonica.

Shadow box.

Say "Ding!" at each floor.

Lean against the button panel.

Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and inform the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

Bring a chair along.

Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"

Blow spit bubbles.

Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.

Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."

If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!



May “Guardian Angels” sit on the shoulders of all of our race drivers and race fans, and guide them safely around the tracks!

Drive safe! 

As usual, you can reach me at:  ygordad@yahoo.com