Racin'
& Internet Stuff:
By Tom
Avenengo
Volume # 25
8/12/2010
This weeks column is dedicated to the late Eric
Koster
A little further down in this column, you’ll
come across this – what follows. To me,
this exemplifies what Eric Koster was:
“Also worth mentioning about that same car a tidbit on the side read
something like this, Precisely designed, engineered, built and powered by
Eric Koster, and how often in the modern era can one man say that. Must have been just an unbelievable mind and mechanic.”
Next:
I started this column on Monday, doing some
research on the Internet, as usual. As
usual, dinner was at six O’clock. And,
as usual, we normally get a phone call or two, during dinner. Monday was no exception. It was approximately 6:15 when our phone
rang. I didn’t recognize the number of
the calling party. It was Peter Reynolds
– better known to us in the racing world here in the Northeast as
“Crackers”. As soon as he said his name,
I knew what, and who, the call was about, and, to be honest, I had been
expecting it. He called me to tell me of the passing of Eric Koster. Some of you might know the name - some might
not.
I first knew of Eric quite a while ago when
he raced at OCFS. At the time, I suppose
you’d say he was a “middle of the pack” runner.
Over time, to the best of my knowledge, he only won one Small Block
feature at the track.
I got to know him quite a lot better when he
took over the operations of Kneisel’s Speed and Sport, when he had a couple of
places in the Middletown/Goshen area. My
son, Eric, worked for him.
After the closings of the Middletown/Goshen
places of business, my son continued to work for him out in Clarks Summit,
PA. Why?
Well, in my son’s own words, he wanted to learn “from the best in the
business”. And, in a way, he did.
Koster had a Small Block – a tan colored #
62. Once, when I was out in Clarks
Summit, I gave the car a pretty good looking over. What was of particular interest to me was the
inside sheet metal – especially at the back of the car. I questioned him about it, with my thinking that
the way it was, it would be a deterrent as far as having the car go fast. His response was “Tell you what, Tom, you know where you go into the pits at OC, to enter
them, between the third and fourth turns?
Well, from that point on, into the first turn there will be hardly any
cars passing me, and to be honest, I ain’t the best driver on the track,
either”. Well, to be honest, I really
don’t recall him being passed on that section of the track, when driving that
car, but I do know that at the Eastern States Weekend that year, Eric Koster managed
to qualify that Small Block in the top 12, in the Big Block time trials.
There are quite a few out there that build
dirt modifieds. I can’t think of anyone
that has the knowledge that Eric Koster had.
Hell, he had more in his little pinky than what most have in their
heads, today. From the very front of the
front bumper to the very back of the rear bumper, Eric Koster could do anything
on a car. You name it, he could work on
it, and in most cases, be better than anyone else, too. I made mention of this to “Crackers” while on
the phone. Everything that Eric Koster
knew was self-taught.
I can still recall a time I was at the shop
in Clarks Summit and he showed me a photo in a magazine. It was a photo from “Gasoline Alley” in
Paterson, NJ – a photo of one of the machines in one of the places of business
there – a photo that was taken many, many years ago. He told me that when he goes there, he uses
that machine today.
So now it is with a heavy heart that I
continue on with this column. We knew
his time was short when my son talked with Eric on the phone within the last
week, and we were informed that it was not in the best interest to plan on
making a visit to see him.
Knowing that you won’t mind, my column this
week will be dedicated to Eric Koster, who on July 2nd, celebrated
his 59th birthday. Rest in
peace, my friend. Those racers up above
are sure getting a winner!
Note #1: At the end of my column will be his obituary. But I did find this in a forum that I frequent:
“His ashes will be
strapped into a Modified at OCFS this Saturday night for one last Feature!”
Note #2: I found this on the Dirt Track Digest’s
forum, what one person had to say about Eric:
“Ive never met Mr. Koster but do have a simple but cool little story that we
talk about to this day. We were in the pits at middletown in 2001 and we just
happened to be watching Jimmy Hauser who showed up with a sweet looking car
went out for hot laps,and pulled pitside and we
witnessed the absolute fastest torsion bar change ever, lol, Eric was the man
doing the changing and Im telling you Hauser was not off the track for 2
minutes. If any of you have pulled a bar out put a new one in and reset it to
height it not exactly a 2 miute job. He makde it look like a routine tire
change. lol. Also worth mentioning about that same car
a tidbit on the side read something like this, Precisely designed, engineered,
built and powered by Eric Koster, and how often in the modern era can one man
say that. Must have been just an unbelievable mind and
mechanic.”
And:
Note:
This originally was “First” in this week’s column.
The 358 Hard Clay Challenge race was held
last Thursday at the Orange County Fair Speedway. 40 green flag laps with $10,000.00 gong to
the winner, Jerry Higbie. From what I
could figure out, purse wise, the total posted purse came to $50,000.00. If you qualified for the feature, you would
get no less than $400.00. Unfortunately,
some advertised drivers didn’t come and in a way, I imagine that their fans
didn’t come, either. Well, I hate to say
this, but those that didn’t come – you lost out on a real good show.
The track was in tip top shape and held up
real well. I figured that, what with
only one class running and there not being too many laps run. I’m not really one for time trials
anymore. In most cases, the fastest
start up front and stay there. It wasn’t
necessarily so in the feature. In the heats, yes. A
“re-draw” for starting positions among the top 12 from the heats did a little
to spice up the show.
Was I disappointed in anything? Yes, I was.
I did figure that with OCFS basically eliminated the 358 class for 2010, the car count would be down some, even with the big
bucks on the line. Thirty-seven cars ran
in the group time trials. Thirty-six ran
in the heats. I was hoping for a little
more, car wise.
I was somewhat disappointed in the fan turn
out, too. Where I normally sit, in the ½
covered stands, it was quite a bit better than a normal Saturday night. I don’t know how the covered stand was, count
wise. The drive-in was a little low, but
I have to figure with the heat, and the drive in being in the sun until the sun
sets, that might have kept some from going there.
Overall, it was one of the better races I’ve
seen at OCFS in some time.
Plus:
In
a little less than a month – on Sunday, September 5th, there will be
a “Racing Expo” held at the Hinchliffe Stadium in
There
was some information about this show and photos from “Back in the day” sent
out via Facebook a few days ago. Here’s
a link to that:
Information
about the Expo is in photo # 2.
Some
of my thoughts:
Sticking with OCFS here. Something
I’d like to see for this up-coming Eastern States Weekend, in October, for the
Small Block race – the same rules that were in effect for the Hard Clay
Challenge. And, instead of a “re-draw”
or “heads-up” start for the top 6 or 12 in qualifying, how about a race of
maybe 10 laps that would require a pit stop and a left rear tire change to set
the top six or twelve as far as starting positions go? Hey, it worked great quite a few years ago
with the Big Blocks, that is until Doug Hoffman
brought out a yellow. Now, they use
transponders, so, why not? Could also work for the Big Blocks too. As for the Sportsman – maybe not enough time
on Saturday?
I
threw this idea onto a forum I frequent, and the “pit stop” race was knocked
down. But they would like to see rules
similar to what was for the Hard Clay Challenge – as far as Small Block engines
go, and also maybe an “open” American Racer tire rule.
And
I wonder, as long as OCFS is operating as an
Independent track, why not make the Eastern States Weekend an ROC race – less
the sail panels, maybe, on the big block modifieds?
Over
these past two weeks, I was able to catch a little bit of the Asphalt Modified
shows on Versus.
One thing I’ve noticed in these first two shows – the tracks are very
narrow with hardly any room to make a clean pass.
Going back, in time:
Note: Most of the following
information was found here:
http://www.wheelsofspeed.com/history.html
Covering the days of August 5th to August 11th.
AUGUST 5
1936
Gordon Johncock ... Born
... Gordon Johncock was one of the premier drivers of Indy Cars for nearly
three decades, winning the 1976 USAC National Championship, and claiming two
wins in the Indy 500. A native of
1963
Craig Breedlove drove the
"Spirit of
1969
Kenny Irwin, Jr. ... Born ... He was a NASCAR
stock car driver. He had driven in all three major of forms of NASCAR and had
two total victories. Before that, he raced in the
AUGUST 6
2002
Jim Crawford... Died ... USAC/CART driver 1984 to 1995. Ran
the Indy 500 eight times with a best finish of 6th in 1988.
AUGUST 7
1915
Ralph Mulford , in his
Duesenberg, won the AAA sanctioned 300 Mile Des Moines Race on the 1 Mile Board
Oval, Des Moines Speedway in Valley Junction, Iowa
1962
Don Davis ... Died ...
USAC driver from the late 1950's to the early 1960's. He drove in the USAC
Championship Car series, racing in the 1960-1962 seasons with 15 starts,
including the 1961 and 1962
AUGUST 8
1929
Jimmy Davies... Born ... AAA / USAC driver from the 1940's - 1960's. He was
the second man to win three USAC National Midget Championships. When Davies won
the 100 mile AAA Championship race at Del Mar, California on November 6, 1949 -
aged 20 years, 2 months, 29 days, he became the youngest driver to win a race
in a major U.S. open wheel series, a record not broken until Marco Andretti won
the IRL race at Sonoma, California in 2006. Davies raced AAA on a false birth
certificate showing him older, (as did
1953
Nigel Mansell... Born ... A British racing driver from
AUGUST 9
1925
Len Sutton... Born ...
Sutton became involved in auto racing after serving in the Navy during World
War II. He spun out in the first corner on his first lap at a dirt track. Sutton won Oregon Racing Association championships in 1949, 1950,
1954, and 1955. He flipped his car to avoid cattle during the 1954
Carrera Panamericana road race (now Baja 1000). He was in a body cast for 4
months. He also won midget car racing championships in
Note:
Len was a member of the Yahoo! Race History Group. There is a “Len Sutton” rule with the group –
whenever you send an e-mail, you post your name and where you’re from.
1963
It was on August 9, 1963, that our second
daughter, Sandra Lucienne Avenengo was born.
It’s been a fast 47 years!
1975
Mark Donohue set an
American closed-course speed record of 221.120 MPH at
2000
Herb Thomas... Died ... A
NASCAR pioneer who won the Grand National Racing (now
Winston Cup) championship in 1951 and 1953; ranks 12th on the career victory
list with 48 wins in 230 starts; won Southern 500 three times in the 1950s;
inducted in International Motorsports Hall of Fame in 1994.
And, in 2010: It's a boy for Gordon: From JeffGordon.com, "Announcing the arrival of Leo Benjamin, born to the proud parents Jeff Gordon & Ingred Vandebosch, August 9, 2010 at 8:52am, 7 lbs, 2oz, 19in."(8-9-2010)
AUGUST 10
1986
Tim Richmond
won the NASCAR Winston Cup Bud at the Glen over Darrell Waltrip at the Watkins
Glen International, Watkins Glen, NY.
AUGUST 11
1926
Frankie Schneider ... Born
... Schneider was a stock car, modified, midget, and sprint car racer. He had
one NASCAR Grand National victory at Old Dominion
1991
Ernie Irvan
won the NASCAR Winston Cup Bud at the Glen over Ricky Rudd at the Watkins Glen
International, Watkins Glen, NY.
J. D. (John Delphus) McDuffie
... Died ... A NASCAR Series driver. He made his debut in 1963 at
Racing
on TV - http://www.racefantv.com/USTV.htm
Starting this week, I’ll let you go to the link, above, and see what’s on and when.
Track
news – (for tracks in my area):
Accord: http://www.accordspeedway.com/
This week: Sportsman, Pro
Stocks –
Pure Stocks & ARDC Midgets
OCFS: http://www.orangecountyfairspeedway.net/
This
week: Modified Elimination Race –
Northeast Vintage Modifieds - M/SP/PRO/PS/V
This
week: Dirt Sportsman, Pro Stock, BMS Modified,
Street Stock, 4 Cylinder, Legends and Bandoleros
OVRP
– the dirt track: http://www.oaklandvalleyspeedway.com/
This week: Practice session on Friday night and Kart and Slingshot racing on Saturday. No Bikes & Quads on Sunday.
Hamlin: http://www.hamlinspeedway.com/
This week: A regular show which consists of: 600 cc Wingless Micro's, 270 cc Winged
Micro's, 600 cc Wingless (Rookies), 270 cc Winged (Rookies), Regular
Slingshots, Super Slingers and Junior Slingshots
The
History of the Sport:
NASCAR
– some race fans of today more than likely are not aware that “Back in the day”
NASCAR also sanctioned some open wheel races.
Yep, sure did -
Midgets and cars similar to the days “Indy” cars. Back then, most of their races were held on
the east coast.
Last
week I covered the “Big Cars”
This
week – some midget history
Along with the “Big Cars”, back in the 50’s,
NASCAR also promoted midget racing. Yes,
it was all on the East Coast, with races held in Florida, New York,
Pennsylvania, New Jersey, South Carolina, Delaware, Georgia and Maryland and
the last race, on October 5th, in Asheville, North Carolina.
To
the best of my thinking, a good portion of the NASCAR midget top five finishing
positions for the years 1957, 1958 & 1959, were sent to me from John
DaDalt, a noted racing photographer here in the Northeast.
In
1957, there were 31 races, starting out with four in
Some
names, and feature winners:
Bob Tattersall, Curt
Lehmann, Roger Bailey,
In 1958, they started out in
Feature winners:
Willie Wildhaber, Dwight Brown, Johnny Coy,
Bob Tattersall, King Carpenter, Steve McGrath, Bob Day, Ed McVay and Tommy
Elliott.
Eight of those races were won by Ford powered
midgets, with Offies taking the rest.
In 1959, they ran in only two states –
Up in
Some names of other drivers that ran in those
NASCAR midget races over those years:
Jim Florian, Bob Williams, Danny Frye, Ralph
Ligouri, Jerry Kemp, Jim Shaffer, Shorty McAndrews, Al Bettinger, Steve
Yanigan, Jack Duffy, Art Gottier, Danny Daniels, Al Graeber, Ed Hawkins, Larry
McCloskey, Mel Jones, Willie Hunziker, Oren Snyder, Ed Flemke, Jim Packard,
Dick King, Harry Kern, Bud Hoppe, Bob Miley, Walt Boyd, Vern Harriman, Hal
Horan, Dorsey Truitt, Bill Shockley, George Tures, Eddie Wendt, Bob Day, Howie
Marotti, Tom Saunders, Lou Johnson, Jackie McLaughlin, Bill Chennault, Herb
Moak, Joe Lacy and Johnny Mann
Former
Dirt Oval (
In
the 358 Hard Clay Challenge race last Thursday, Michael Storms was 8th
and Danny Creeden 11th. John
Lodini and Matt Hitchcock were both DNQ’s.
Kyle
Armstrong was 7th, Kolby Schroder 8th and Alex Bell 18th
in the Sportsman feature at
Billy
VanInwegen was 14th in the Modified feature and Corey Ziegler 12th
in the Sportsman feature at Penn Can.
At
Big Diamond, Mike Mammana was 6th in the Sportsman feature.
Davie
Franek was 3rd in the 358 Sprint Car feature at Selinsgrove.
At
Utica Rome, AJ Filbeck was 8th in the Sportsman feature
Tiffany
Wambold was 11th at Kutztown in the 270 Micro Sprint feature.
At
Wyalusing, Jacob Hendershot won the make up 270 Micro feature
and was 3rd in the nights regular feature for the 270’s.
Cori
Tufano had a 4th place finish at
At
Nick
Pecko had a 16th place finish in the Modified feature at Sundance
Vacations Speedway.
At
OCFS, in the Modified feature, Tim Hindley was 1st, Danny Creeden 11th,
Billy VanInwegen 15th, Mike Ruggiero 16th, while Clinton
Mills was a DNQ. In the Sportsman
feature, Matt Hitchcock was 1st, John Lodini 3rd, Keith
Still 5th, Joe Conklin 6th, Matt Janiak 8th,
Brian Krummel 9th, Doc Young 20th
and Zack Vavricka 22nd.
At
Accord, in the Modified feature, Greg Hastie was 12th, Jimmy Johnson
17th, Clinton Mills 21st and Tom Hindley 23rd. Danny Creeden is shown as a DQ. IN the Sportsman Feature, Brad Szulewski won
his first ever feature in the Sporstman class, followed by Brian Krummel 2nd,
Mike Ruggiero 13th, Anthony Perrego 14th and Kyle
Armstrong 19th. In the Spec
Sportsman feature, Kyle Rohner was 3rd, RJ Smykla 4th and
Kayla Smykla 16th.
Johnny
Guarino was 4th in the Modified feature at New Egypt.
As
for Michael Storms, he was 7th at Utica/Rome, 6th at
Brewerton, 7th at
At
Penn Can this past Tuesday, in the ROC Modified race, Danny Creeden was 24th,
while Billy VanInwegen was a DNQ. In the
602 Crate Sportsman race, Kyle Rohner was 6th and Anthony Perrego 8th.
More racin’ stuff:
While checking out the Track Forum, I came
across an interesting article about NASCAR.
Economic Slowdown Catches Up
With Nascar
In part:
“After years of jam-packed races, sky-high television ratings and
record merchandise sales, Nascar
has seen attendance at nearly every track slip this year as recession-weary
fans continue to cut costs.”
“Some in the sport say that the
family dynasty that controls Nascar is also to blame
for its recent woes.”
More can be seen if you go
here: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/09/sports/autoracing/09nascar.html?_r=1&hp
And, from Jayski’s website:
“Hearing that the deal with Robby Gordon
Motorsports and Beth Ann Morganthau / BAM Racing is no longer in place, and
that RGM is in the process of taking legal action against BAM and former
sponsor Warner Bros for lack of payment and breach of contract.”
And:
Kahne to Red Bull in 2011
In part:
“Red Bull Racing has emerged as the likely place for Kasey Kahne in the
2011 Sprint Cup season, the Observer and ThatsRacin.com have
learned. Under a proposed arrangement, Kahne would drive one of Red Bull
Racing's Toyota's next season as he waits to take over Hendrick's #5 Chevy in
2012, sources close to the situation confirmed Sunday.”
“Hendrick Motorsports owner Rick Hendrick has
completed a deal to put Kasey Kahne in a Red Bull Racing Toyota in 2011,
according to multiple sources familiar with the situation.”
“Kasey Kahne will drive a Red Bull Racing
Team Toyota in 2011, the team announced. "We were
fortunate to have the opportunity to hire a very talented driver for the 2011
season and we took it," said Jay Frye, Red Bull Racing Team Vice President
and General Manager. "This is a unique situation that doesn't happen every
day. Kasey is a perfect fit for our company, team and Red Bull."
“Statement from Rick Hendrick: "Kasey is
going to a competitive organization that made the Chase last season and has
great leadership and resources," said Hendrick, owner of Hendrick
Motorsports. "Of everything we looked at, he and
I agree it's the best opportunity for him to be successful in 2011, which was
always our number-one priority. The process went on longer than any of us anticipated, but
I'm glad that we took our time to make sure it was right. And although I'm not
looking forward to racing against him next year, I'm comfortable knowing this
is the best situation for Kasey." As announced in April, veteran Mark
Martin will continue to drive Hendrick Motorsports' #5 Chevys in 2011. "We're looking forward to
another year with Mark Martin, one of the true class acts in racing, driving
for Hendrick Motorsports," Hendrick said. "There aren't many things
in this world I'd rather do than win a championship with him,
and that will be our goal with the #5 team for the rest of this year and
in 2011."
Other forums/message boards and websites:
You might find some interesting reading if you go to the links below.
Track
Forum: - http://www.trackforum.com/forums/
Frontstretch.com:
http://www.frontstretch.com/
Jayski:
- http://www.jayski.com/
Open
Wheel Racers3: http://www.openwheelracers3.com/
Race
Pro Weekly: http://raceproweekly.com/
Other sports:
Jets' Ryan offers plan to settle Revis
holdout
In Part:
“The brash New York Jets coach has come up with a game plan to get holdout cornerback Darrelle Revis back on the field. And, everyone in the organization is invited.
"We'll call off practice," Ryan said Wednesday. "We'll have our whole team there and meet. That way there's no, 'he said, she said' or whatever. Just get the thing done, and let's work it out that way."
“The All-Pro cornerback has missed 11 days, including Wednesday, since the team reported for training camp at SUNY Cortland. He's scheduled to make $1 million in the fourth year of his six-year rookie deal, but wants to become the league's highest-paid cornerback.”
“Revis is being fined $16,523 for each day he misses, meaning he is already out $181,753. By sitting out, he also waived a clause in his contract which would have guaranteed him $20 million over the last two years of his deal. Also, by not reporting by Aug. 10, Revis will not get credit for this year as an accrued season toward free agency.”
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100811/ap_on_sp_fo_ne/fbn_jets_ryan_s_revis_plan
Note: What I’d like to know is why even have contracts if this kind of sh*t can happen? As far as I’m concerned, you signed a contract – ABIDE BY IT.
Video
time:
How
about some racecar crashes?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ce7OyXQVrEU&NR=1&feature=fvwp
Other
(non racing) news:
In part: “BERLIN – A small Hamburg mosque once
frequented by Sept. 11 attackers was shut down and searched Monday because
German authorities believed the prayer house was again being used as a meeting
point for Islamic radicals.”
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100809/ap_on_re_eu/eu_germany_mosque_closed
Note # 1: And still our elected politicians and others
want a mosque close by where the
Note # 2: It was said on the news on Tuesday evening,
that they might move the location of this new mosque, in
And:
Is this true?:
Got this in an e-mail on Tuesday.
Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart Every hour
of every day.
This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!
Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick's Day (March 17th) than
Target sells all year.
Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target + Sears + Costco +
K-Mart combined.
Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people and is the largest private Employer, and
most speak English.
Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the World.
Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger & Safeway combined, and keep in
mind they did this in only 15 years.
During this same period, 31 supermarket chains sought bankruptcy.
Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.
Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the
This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will
occur At a Wal-Mart store. (Earth's population is approximately 6.5
Billion.)
90% of all Americans live within 15 miles of a Wal-Mart.
You may think that I am complaining, but I am really laying the ground work for suggesting that MAYBE just MAYBE we should hire the guys who run Wal-Mart to Fix the economy.
And, along with the
above, there was this, below (in part), with a few of my interjections:
The U.S. Post Service was established in 1775. You have had 234 years
to get it right and it is almost BROKE.
Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 74 years to get it
right and it is almost BROKE.
Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 71 years to get it
right and it was BROKE.
War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 45 years to get it right;
yet trillions of our money is confiscated each
year and transferred to "the poor" and they only want more.
Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 44 years to
get it right and they are almost BROKE.
Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You have had 39 years to get it right and it was almost BROKE.
The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen our dependence on foreign oil. It has ballooned to 16,000 employees with a budget of $24 billion a year and we import more oil than ever before. You had 32 years to get it right and it is an abysmal FAILURE.
You have FAILED in most every "government service" you have shoved down our throats while overspending our tax dollars.
AND YOU WANT AMERICANS TO BELIEVE YOU CAN BE TRUSTED WITH A GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM??
Note: I really do wonder – do our elected officials
really have a clue as to how the American public really does feel about things,
today? You bet they do! As an example – we have a “Village” in our
county that does, in a sense, belong to one particular religious sect. They seem to get, from
The obituary for Eric
Koster:
Eric William Koster, 59, of Newton Twp., died
Monday afternoon at home. His wife, the former Ann Kneisel, died in 2007.
Born in
He is survived by two daughters, Lynn Hiza
and husband, Robert, Clarks Summit; and Marcee Kneisel Adams and husband, Ed,
Charlotte, N.C.; two sisters, Helen Calcines and Jane Draeger, both of New
Jersey; five grandchildren, Elena Kneisel Bush and fiancé, Michael O'Connor;
David Hiza and wife, Joyce; Jason Hiza and wife, Jennifer; Ashley Kneisel Bush
and Mitchell Kneisel Davis; six great-grandchildren, Abigail and Morgan Hiza,
Zackary Scott, Zachary Hoover and Kayleigh Hiza and Lila Ann; a niece, Elena
Calcines Klarberg; a nephew, Joaquin "Jack" Calcines; and three
great-nephews.
The family would like to thank Lisa, Jessica and Kristy from
Diakon Hospice for their compassionate care, and would also like to thank Aunt
Ronnie for her loving care in the past two months.
Eric's dear friends are invited to share in the celebration
of his life, Friday from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m., at the Ramada Inn, Routes 6 &
11, Clarks Summit. In lieu of flowers, memorial
contributions may go to St. Jude Children's
Arrangements by
For online condolences, visit www.lawrenceeyoung
funeralhome.com.
Published in
Closing with these:
New Viruses on the loose!
AT&T
virus:
Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
Oprah
Winfrey virus:
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB and then slowly expands back to
200MB.
MCI
virus:
Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T
virus.
Politically
Correct virus:
Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an
"electronic microorganism."
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus:
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
Government
Economist virus:
Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
New World Order virus:
Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about
it.
Federal Bureaucrat virus:
Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does
practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of
your computer.
Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
Adam and Eve virus:
Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Congressional virus:
The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on
each half blaming the other side for the problem.
Airline virus:
You're in
Freudian
virus:
Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying to its own motherboard.
Public Television virus:
Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money.
Elvis virus:
Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self destructs only to resurface at
shopping malls and service stations across rural
Nike virus:
Just does it.
Congressional virus #2:
Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user
to accomplish anything.
Star Trek virus:
Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.
Health Care virus:
Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for
$4,500.
May “Guardian Angels” sit on the shoulders of all of our race drivers and race fans, and guide them safely around the tracks!
Drive safe!
As usual, you can reach me
at: ygordad@yahoo.com